Ladies… Beware of the Future Promiser

What is the future-promiser?

Let me explain:

You go on a couple of dates with somebody.

And then they start promising you the future.

They talk about a trip you’re going to take together six months down the road.

They talk about future vacations past the other trip.

They talk about a sporting event you’re going to go to in the fall, and it’s only the spring time.

Beware of the future talker.

How can you possibly be talking about the future with somebody when you don’t even know?

Dating to me is four seasons.

The first season of dating is the spring, and the buds are blooming.  Everything feels so great.

Then all of a sudden, there’s a little frost after 90 days.  You start seeing the cracks in the person you’re with.

They’re no longer on their best behavior.  They’re starting to show you exactly the way they are in relationship.  And that’s when all the negotiation starts to happen.  That’s when you start really talking about each other’s needs, wants, and desires.  That’s when you start evaluating each other to see whether or not your able to go and work off that beautiful foundation that you started on.

If you can make it to the next season—to summer or fall—then that’s when you can start talking about the future.

The first six months is all about negotiations.  You shouldn’t be promising the future to anybody for at least six months because you don’t know who they are and you don’t know how they’re going to react in all types of situations.

How are they on Monday mornings?  Can they handle the week?

How are they when they work late?  Do they forget about you for days on end because they get so caught up in their own world and they don’t know how to make you feel good?

Are they a giver and a taker or are they just a taker?  I’ve had that happen with a lot of women.  Women who are wonderful for the first 90 days, and then all of a sudden, I realize that she is a taker.

Are they impressed with their work?  Have you met their friends?  That’s the key, how they treat their friends is how they’re going to treat you over time.

Are they reliable?  Do you listen to their relationship history?  Are some of the complaints that other men or women had about them starting to come out with you too?  It means that they haven’t done the work on themselves.

You need a good year with somebody before you can even think about marriage.  Six months, you can start talking about vacations in the future.  One year, you can start talking about an actual future.

You’ve got to let the leaves fall to the ground; the bugs drop off the trees.  You’ve got to go through four seasons of a relationship.

Otherwise, it’s just fantasy talk.

I’m all about watching at the warning signs.  I’m so good at 90 days now.  I passed all the warning signs between day 60 and day 90, and then I usually confront the woman on each and every one of them to see how they react.  Am I testing them?  Probably.  Because it’s my heart that needs to be open, so am I testing them to see if they’ll fail?  No, I’m actually testing them—I hate to use that word—to see if they’ll succeed.

Be clear.  State your needs, state your wants, state your desires.  If something comes up, state it.  If they treat you in a way that doesn’t feel respectful and make you feel great, state it.

Don’t be afraid to state it.  The more you dictate the beginning of the relationship, the better it’s going to be.  The more you dictate how things need to be, the greater it’s going to be.

I have a saying.  Constantly praising somebody for the first 90 days and then all of a sudden telling them things that went wrong is the biggest mistake you can make in any relationship.  The reason being is, is because all of a sudden they think they’ve done fantastically.  When they do something wrong their ego will protect them and say, “What are you talking about? I’ve been doing everything so great. You’ve said so!”

So start right from the beginning to communicate what you like and don’t like.

Don’t allow them to future talk you because you will miss things that are happening in the present.

Beware of the future talker and stop dating all the wrong men now by clicking the link below:

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The Power of If‏

What if this was the day you’re supposed to meet the man of your dreams?

What if you were riding the same elevator as him? What if you were in a restaurant sitting opposite him?

What if today was the day that you met the man that would change your love life forever?

Let’s say that you were dating somebody you weren’t excited about. And you’re at a restaurant talking to a friend about the guy you’re dating that doesn’t excite you—someone that you don’t have that full-on connection with.

What if you spent that entire meal, talking badly about him, saying, “I don’t know, Becky, I’m not sure that he’s for me. The sex is not that great.”

And what if your friend told you what everybody always tells you:

“You’re never going to find anybody perfect. So just compromise, and be okay with what you have.” 

What if, when you were going through all this, the man who you would resonate with on all your key emotional points, was sitting right next to you and you didn’t even talk to him? 

The power of what if is what really makes life powerful. It’s actually not the what; it’s the if.

I love to walk around and say “if”.

“If” is a really powerful two-letter word. It’s like staying open by not getting involved in the relationships that do not fit you 100% on emotional issues.

You can walk around and “if” all day long.

When you’re not with somebody that you don’t belong with, you can go around and meet everybody you’re supposed to meet. Because any day, a what if can happen to you.

The problem is, most of us are so caught up with either someone else or a bunch of crappy thoughts. What if you let go of that date that didn’t work and just walked around and had a wonderful time and met somebody really cool?

Stop thinking about the past.

Stop being in relationships that don’t work, and start being open every day.

Luckily, I’ve created a program designed to help you get out of your head and in the world, attracting men like bears to honey.

Click the link below Calvin. Attractive men everywhere are waiting:

Why You Deserve A Romantic Vacation for One‏

That’s right, you deserve a romantic vacation for one.

This is a mindset that a lot of people do not always take.

You’re going to go to Venice, Italy when you find the right man. You’re going to go to Hawaii when you find the right man. You’re going to take that Mexican trip when you find the right guy.

You’re going to go to the Caribbean when you find that guy that you want to go to the Caribbean with.

But here’s what’s wrong about this way of thinking: maybe that guy is already there. Maybe he’s taking a romantic vacation for one and he’s unwinding a little bit and he’s already in Hawaii, Mexico, Italy, wherever it might be.

In life, most of us wait.

We kick back and we are constantly waiting for that man to come along.

All of you do it.

Here’s the deal: he may never come along the way you’re waiting.

So stop waiting. Stop waiting for him to come and start living.

If you want to understand how men tick and how to know what he’s really thinking when you meet him on that romantic, check this out:

OMG! He Talked to Me!‏

You know, women complain constantly:

“I just can’t seem to meet any men.”

“Ooh, I just can’t meet any men.”

But yet when a man approaches, they run away as quickly as possible.

“Oh my God, he’s talking to me!  I need to run and run and run and run…”

It’s hilarious to watch. If they’re at a farmers’ market, they’ll quickly put their peaches in the bag and they’ll quickly run away.  God forbid they meet somebody––even though they say they’d like to meet somebody.

But what most of them will do is go through an entire laundry list of excuses in their head.

“He wasn’t the right one for me.”

Really?  You didn’t talk to him.  He might have great friends, but if you don’t talk to him, you’ll never get to meet them.

Be open.  

For real, it’s just such a waste of time when you’re not.

And that is today’s quick tip from a man.

Go get ‘em, ladies!

Do You Get Shy When A Man Approaches You?‏

Do you consider yourself shy?

Or more specifically… are you shy when it comes to dating and being able to comfortably approach men?

Do you walk around and say to yourself “I wish I weren’t shy so I could approach men.”

Has this ever happened to you — You see a man you’re attracted to and so badly want to walk over to him and say “hi” or smile at him or take SOME kind of action… but you can’t work up the guts to do it?

Can you relate to this? 

And how frustrating is that? Especially if it’s happened to you over and over again …

Let me tell you something… YOU DON’T HAVE TO EVER EXPERIENCE THAT KIND OF FRUSTRATION AGAIN – beginning right now!

How would you like to never feel “shy” again when it comes to meeting, attracting and approaching men?

Sound good?

OK, let me tell you how to make that happen…

When I hear women label themselves as “shy,” I know they are limiting their opportunities to meet and connect with men every day.

How do I know this?

Because after coaching hundreds of men and women over the last decade I’ve seen it all – and I’ve worked with every kind of person imaginable. There is virtually nothing about people I haven’t seen … or helped them overcome for that matter…

And so here’s something you need to understand:

Being shy isn’t a physical trait like having brown eyes… you can eliminate it and overcome it!

Here are 4 tips to help you forever overcome dating shyness:


If someone asks you if you’re shy, what is your answer?

Do you say “Yes, I am a shy person?”

When you say that, you are accepting that being shy is just part of who you are – that it’s part of your identity. By you telling yourself (and others) that you are a shy person, you are negatively affecting your own mindset.

It is very limiting — and YOU deserve so much more than what you are allowing yourself

One of the first, and most important ways to overcome shyness is to be conscious about eliminating it as part of your identity.

One way to get to that place if you are having trouble is to speak about yourself as if you’ve already overcome your shyness. The next time someone asks you if you’re shy, you can say “I am no longer a shy person.”

As you continue to say this, you will believe it.


Are you asking what monkey chatter is — or what it has to do with dating and being shy?

Don’t worry, I’m going to explain…

What goes on in your head and what do you think about when you feel shy? Do a whole bunch of different thoughts go through your mind like monkey chatter you hear at the Central Park Zoo?

Are there what seem like hundreds of monkeys screaming all different things in you ear, none of which are good thoughts? This is what I call “monkey chatter.”

Do you think that you can’t talk to men because you’re shy?

Do you believe that people next to you are thinking negative things about you because of your shyness, or about how you look or about anything else about you?

You need to stop listening to all of this negative talk – to all of this monkey chatter – in your head.

Be aware of when your perception about a situation comes solely from these negative thoughts in your head, and then consciously choose to ignore them.

You need to stop speculating and assuming things about what’s going on around you based on then negative chatter in your head.

It will lead you astray every time.


Do you ever refrain from approaching a man because you were worried about what people around you would think about you?

Are you worried that they will think you’re strange, or pathetic, or a failure, or that they will make fun of you if you approach a man?

You need to realize that people around you are not talking about you or thinking about you at all. They aren’t because they are doing exactly what you are doing, i.e., thinking about themselves and what is going on in their own lives.

They may be worrying just like you about their own problems, their own issues and, maybe, about their own shyness.

Have you ever been standing in a grocery checkout line next to a man you’d love to talk to but don’t because you don’t want to be judged by those around you?

You know what? These people are not judging you.

They are thinking about how miserable they are in their job, how they weren’t happy with the latte they were served that morning and how long it’s taking them to get through that grocery line.

Here’s THE KEY…

The ONLY person judging you on your shyness is you. The only person thinking the thoughts that are in your head is you.


The truth is that being shy is all about you and your own thoughts about yourself.

It’s not about anything or anyone else.

Here’s the GOOD NEWS about this though…

You are not stuck being shy!

You have the power to overcome your shyness.

Once you understand this, you then need to decide to take the necessary action to overcome your shyness.

You have the power to open your mouth and say hello to anyone.

Being shy really means that you are judging yourself. It means that you are judging yourself to be unworthy and incapable of meeting and attracting men…

…which is totally untrue!

You need to accept your life. You need to accept yourself for who you are and what you’re all about, then go out and talk to men with that confidence.

When you stop judging yourself, you will no longer feel shy.

Once you understand what being shy really is and how it has been controlling you, you can take control of your mind and your emotions and eliminate it from your life permanently.

Don’t let a poor mindset hold you back from meeting and connecting with men every day. 

If you want to learn more about MINDSET and how to totally transform your dating life from top to bottom, click here for more information:

How to Get Him to Approach‏

Are you like most women?

Are you constantly waiting for the right man to come your way?

Man, women have been sold that scenario since the beginning of time.
I call it the Disney moment.

You’re walking the aisles of the supermarket and all of a sudden your prince comes down the aisle on his white horse, dismounts the horse, looks at you, and says:

“Those are my favorite crackers as well.  I’d love to have you come to my house. I’ve got some homemade cheese, some olives, a great bottle of wine, and I’d love to share it with you and get to know you. What makes you tick? What are you all about? Who are you as a woman? I want to hear everything.”

How many of you just got goosebumps reading that? It would be amazing to have that moment happen to you, wouldn’t it?

Of course it would.

Then again, 90% of the men in this world have no idea how to approach a woman.

That’s right, 90%.

Only 10% of the men in this world actually know how to approach a woman.

So if you’re going to kick back and wait, guess what’s going to happen: you’re never going to meet the man of your dreams.

You’ve got to get them to approach you.

You’ve got to go and do things to get him to approach you. You’ve got to smile at guys. You’ve got to have open body language.

You’ve got to do things to get him to approach you. Otherwise you’re going to be waiting for that magic moment that never happens.

If you really want know how to approach men and do so in a way that still leaves you feeling feminine, still feeling like the man has conquered and claimed you, then check this out:

All about the “New” Original Magic Wand

The Hitachi Magic Wand was one of those rare products that defied the odds. It’s been around for decades, with few visible changes to its workhorse appearance, yet it remains an undisputed best seller.

The Hitachi Magic Wand, today known simply as the Magic Wand is stronger than ever. It is solid and durable, providing years of powerful, satisfying vibrations, and it comes with a 1-year warranty.

By way of back story consider that this one consumer product, so near and dear to sex toy lover hearts, represents a tiny blip on the radar of Hitachi. When counterfeit products began appearing on the market it made keeping the Magic Wand in production seem even less worthwhile. Fighting the knock offs is time consuming and expensive, and it’s not clear how much of a priority one vibrator is for a company that builds satellites, water systems, and energy grids.

But thanks to Vibratex, the family owned Japanese vibrator importer that is responsible for that other icon of vibrators, the Rabbit Pearl, the Magic Wand lives! Vibratex has been distributing the Magic Wand for years, and they made the pitch to Hitachi that the product was not only worth keeping, but worth improving.

Enter the new Magic Wand Original. It’s got some updated “internals” (for the nerds among you, these include: a new circuit system for the power toggle, a new, more ergonomic toggle itself, more internal ribbing, sealed, self-lubricating bearings in the head, and a new head that is made of hard resin instead of die-cast metal, and a few other upgrades).


And while Hitachi still makes the product (and owns the trademark), their name has been removed from all the packaging, which apparently is going to allow marketers a bit more leeway with introducing the Magic Wand Original to a new generation of sex toy aficionados. They have also updated the packaging! Every year there are hundreds of new vibrators introduced to the market. And for more than 30 years there has been nothing that compares to the Magic Wand. Thanks to the folks at Vibratex it seems like we’ll have it for another 30 years or more. (read entire article)

Magic Wand Accessories

Why Do Men Go Cold?‏

So you’ve met a guy…

He seems perfect.

You get on great…

You can talk for hours…

You’ve had a couple of fun dates…

Maybe you’ve even had sex, or at least been intimate with each other.

But then without warning he starts ignoring your calls and texts…

He makes excuses why he can’t see you tonight…

He says there’s nothing wrong but deep down you sense something isn’t right.

What’s going on with him?

He seemed so into you?

Then he calls you and has “The talk.”

He really likes you but he’s not ready to commit, or maybe he likes you but just as a friend.

I know how much that hurts you…

Especially if you’ve already been intimate with the guy.

So what IS going on with him?

Why do men go from being eager and interested in you to being big fat flakers?

Well as a man, I can tell you…

It isn’t because “All guys are jerks.”


Some of them are, but some go flakey because they’re scared.


Some guys are just big man babies.

They could be scared of being hurt. Scared they’re not good enough for you. Scared of being a flop in bed. Scared of losing their freedom.

The list is endless…

If you want to know whether he’s just not into you, or whether there’s something deeper going on try this…

Start talking about other guys…

If you’re out on a friend date start flirting with other guys and see what happens.

Because here’s the thing…

If he really does like you, he won’t like you talking and flirting with other guys.

If he genuinely just wants to be friends he won’t react at all.

The signs are subtle but they’re definitely there.


Don’t rule the guy out just yet as being a flaker.

Test him and see if there’s something going on he’s not telling you.

It could be the problem is with him, not you.

Guys can be confusing, especially when it comes to expressing our feelings and fears.

To learn the signs click here.

Sportsheets featured on ‘Real Housewives of OC’

Ladies bring popular Naughty Night Out bachelorette game, S&M accessories to Mexico

Sportsheets received a special invitation to a surprise bachelorette party that made a recent episode of Bravo’s “Real Housewives of Orange County” a must-see. The housewives planned a special Mexico getaway to commemorate Tamra’s approaching marriage and welcomed bride-to-be with a suitcase full of sexy goodies.

Gretchen Rossi took matters into her own hands and stocked up on enough adult treats to make the entire group blush. Among the array of penis-shaped novelties was Pin the Cock on the Jock, Sportsheets’ naughty version of the classic donkey game, and the telltale black-and-white packaging of Sex & Mischief

NEW Cascade Lubricating Vibes as featured in Cosmopolitan

“…The vibe is equipped with what’s called Lube Play technology–basically, one touch of a button and you’ve got some slippery stuff on the end of your toy to make solo or with-a-partner playtime a little more fun. There are three models available, the Ripple (for G-spot stimulation), the Wave (which has a ribbed shaft), and the Flow (your standard, tried-and-true pocket rocket).” -Cosmopolitan